Eurovision 2022 Previews Part 7: Finland, Israel & Serbia

 

PART 7

Semi 1 done and dusted, time to plunge into the fiery review pits of semi 2! I.M. quite the Jezebel and not at all a Corpore Sano, so this first trio had better be ready. Cause I.M. lurking in the shadows… #eurovision #esc2022

1. Finland – The Rasmus – Jezebel

The Song: Ah, The Rasmus! I’ve murdered their “In The Shadows” many a time on SingStar, and was hoping for something with a similar impact. Alas. It does sound like The Rasmus, but more like its distant cousin twice removed. Everyone knows I love a good rock song, but bless their hearts: this is more of a paint-by-numbers schlager in rock disguise, with the silliest choice of a title to boot. Jezebel? What the hell.

Standout line: “Game set a killer shark in heels”  Sounds like me when I’m in drag.

The Voice: Perfectly adequate. A bit shaky in the verses at times but it’s solid in the chorus, which is where it needs to happen.

The Style: The redeeming quality of this entry. Loving the yellow, which is always a winning combo with black in my book. I want that yellow coat – if that means we get that naked torso however: you can keep it.

In one line: Even a random Drag Name Generator would give us something fresher than ‘Jezebel’.
PERSONAL TOTAL:
Why it will qualify: It’s perfectly adequate.
Why it won’t qualify:
This isn’t the version of The Rasmus we wanted.
Qualifier? Probably YES

Give your own rating for Finland down at the bottom of the page

2. Israel – Michael Ben David – I.M.

The Song: What song, I ask of you? Without any coherence whatsoever, besides desperately trying to be fierce, this sounds more like a bunch of soundbites that accidentally ended up in the same mix. There’s about as much coherence to this ‘composition’ as the average Boris Johnson speech, and the lyrics are on par. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say this sounds more like one of the lyrics-writing challenges on Rupaul’s Drag race. If you know, you know.  

Standout line: “I‘m shameless and I‘m spotless and I‘m flawless”   And slightly clueless.

The Voice: Not the most worrisome element in this entry. By a long shot.

The Style: For an entry that’s so full of Eleganza, it’s surprisingly low on Extravaganza. Yes, they’re going for a variation on Vogue but I need more. More! MORE!

In one line: I’m sorry my dear, but you are up for elimination.
PERSONAL TOTAL:
Why it will qualify: Overly positive rainbow family members and allies think this slays the house down boots.
Why it won’t qualify:
It doesn’t slay the house down boots.
Qualifier? NO

Give your own rating for Israel own at the bottom of the page

3. Serbia – Konstrakta – In Corpore Sano

The Song: As a piece of art, I love it. As a song, I appreciate it. As a Eurovision entry, I don’t have a clue what to do with it. But I catch myself kinda loving that it’s there.

Standout line: “What could be the secret of Meghan Markle‘s healthy hair?”  It’s a wig.

The Voice: It’s cabaret so it’s all about getting the point across, which I’m sure won’t be an issue.

The Style: We’ve all been over-washing our hands, which makes that NF performance almost traumatizing. Konstrakta – ideal drag name, by the way – is an artist pur sang. Would love to see something just a bit more varied, just for the sake of keeping the attention.

In one line: I haven’t felt sana in ages, tbh.
PERSONAL TOTAL:
Why it will qualify: It’s art, Jim, but not as we know it.
Why it won’t qualify: 
We all keep our distance after excessive hand hygiene.
Qualifier? YES

Give your own rating for Serbia own at the bottom of the page

CURRENT DIMIVISION STANDINGS

  LITHUANIA

  NETHERLANDS – PORTUGAL – ICELAND – ARMENIA

  ALBANIA – UKRAINE – CROATIA – AUSTRIA – NORWAY – SERBIA

 LATVIA – SWITZERLAND – SLOVENIA – DENMARK – GREECE – FINLAND – ISRAEL

 BULGARIA – MOLDOVA

 

Tomorrow: Azerbaijan, Georgia & Malta

Eurovision 2022 Previews Part 6: Norway & Armenia + quali predictions for Semi 1

 

PART 6

While I’m still in recovery from a chocolate hangover after this Easter weekend, I am ready to wrap up semi 1. That includes some kind of careful preliminary predictions cfr qualifications. Which mean diddly squat at this point in time, but let’s try anyway! #eurovision #esc2022
Continue reading “Eurovision 2022 Previews Part 6: Norway & Armenia + quali predictions for Semi 1”

Eurovision 2022 Previews Part 5: Austria, Iceland & Greece

 

PART 5

Day 5 of the previews and we’re almost at the end of semi 1, can you believe it? But not before we literally travel all over the continent, from the northest north to the (almost) southest south. Will that diversity cause some adversity? Let’s find out! #eurovision #esc2022
Continue reading “Eurovision 2022 Previews Part 5: Austria, Iceland & Greece”

Eurovision 2022 Previews Part 4: Portugal, Croatia & Denmark

 

PART 4

Day 4 and we’ve already covered every possible score out of 5. Will Pondering Portugal, Cutesy Croatia and Devilish Denmark take the average up or down? Only one way to find out! James, bring in the next three entries for scrutiny! #eurovision #esc2022 #eurovisionreview
Continue reading “Eurovision 2022 Previews Part 4: Portugal, Croatia & Denmark”

Eurovision 2022 Previews Part 3: Bulgaria, Netherlands & Moldova

 

PART 3

Day three of the 2022 previews brings the mixest of mixed bags, with the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. Oops, I guess a #spoileralert was due. Anyway, strap in and hang on for the rollercoaster that is today’s Dimivision deep dive!
Continue reading “Eurovision 2022 Previews Part 3: Bulgaria, Netherlands & Moldova”

Eurovision 2022 Previews Part 2: Switzerland, Slovenia & Ukraine

 

PART 2

Day two of the review marathon is upon us and there’s a theme here – provided you are one of those that looks up lyrics to see what a song actually means. Get the Kleenex at the ready. For your tears, silly, what else?
Continue reading “Eurovision 2022 Previews Part 2: Switzerland, Slovenia & Ukraine”

Eurovision 2022 Previews Part 1: Albania, Latvia & Lithuania

 

PART 1

Mid April? Exqueeze me?
Less than a month until Eurovision? Exqueeze me more?
High time to wake  up from my XXL winter sleep and dive into this year’s contestants!
Who’ll come out on top? Let’s find out together. As usual we’ll tackle them in threes, so watch this space in the next fortnite!
#eurovision #eurovisionpreviews 
Continue reading “Eurovision 2022 Previews Part 1: Albania, Latvia & Lithuania”

Eurovision 2021 review: Shut up and behave.

Maneskin Italia GIF - Maneskin Italia Eurovision - Discover & Share GIFs

Sir, yes sir! I dare not disobey Damiano, sir.
Even though I have a few things to say.
Luckily I can blog with my mouth shut.
It’s the Eurovision 2021 review, everybody!  

Continue reading “Eurovision 2021 review: Shut up and behave.”

Eurovision 2021 Semi 1 – The Day After

 

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No, you weren’t dreaming – and luckily neither was I. It happened! Eurovision returned! Huzzah with a capital H! After two very long years we got a taste again…and much like with anything that seems/feels/is too good to be true, it was over before you could say ‘robbed’. But who was and who wasn’t? Time for a first look back.
Continue reading “Eurovision 2021 Semi 1 – The Day After”

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