Eurovision 2024 Previews Part 4: Finland, Moldova & Azerbaijan

You know, sometimes you make a reference that you never in a million years thought you’d make while reviewing Eurovision entries. Today is one of those days, even if some things remain inexplicable until you actually see them. Riddle me this, riddle me that… but I guess you’ll quickly get what I’m aiming at. And oh yes, Moldova and Azerbaijan are there too.

10. Finland – Windows95Man – No Rules

The Song: The start of the song immediately reminds me of Gunther’s Ding Dong Song (rude Youtube handle alert) and that reference basically sets the tone for the entire entry. Much like its Croatian sibling it feels like it came crawling straight out of Netflix’ Eurovision Saga, with it walking the tightrope between parody and earnest entry. As a song it feels like it follows a lot of rules but with its tongue firmly stuck in both cheeks. (Not those cheeks – although the performance begs to differ). The catchy chorus, the key change, the ironic and rebellious lyrics: check, check and check. When you hear this on Spotify (or any streaming service of your choice) it actually sounds alright, even if you’re constantly wondering whether or not they mean it. The ‘no rules’ tagline is highlighted ever so effectively, and consequently (and unfortunately) catchy as fuck.

Standout line: “I am the king, I am the queen” I’m a non-binary person and I approve this message.

The Voice: That NF performance was…something. It’s so ever so slightly off key that you’re wondering if they’re doing it on purpose. Which IS highly probable within this context. And highly tiresome after about 30 seconds.

The Style: Or lack thereof. Another case of approving everything in the brainstorm session, although it comes across more streamlined than its Croatian counterpart. The storyline of the pants (or lack thereof) is kinda hilarious and, dare I say it, rather clever. Which makes it quite baffling to have that competing with other elements like the socks & sandals, the giant…egg (?)…, the shredded Canadian tuxedo and above all else the Windows 95 ‘concept’. A term I’d use VERY loosely here. How much is too much?

In one line: Brotherhood of the traveling pants.
PERSONAL TOTAL:
Why it will qualify: It’s absurd and that’s what non-fans seem to love.
Why it won’t qualify: Too much of something is bad enough…too much of too much is even worse.
Qualifier? Yes.
Winner? Out of all the Käärijä-esque entries this year, this one probably feels least likely to trouble the top ten. Which it still could, it would just have to bow its head for the others.

11. Moldova – Natalia Barbu – In The Middle

The Song: Not quite the blaze of glory that was her 2007 entry, this is indeed way more In The Middle.  The overlap in the Venn diagram is the violin, although its presence is way less dominant in the production and build-up of the track. I love the haunted vibe in the verses, only to have it slightly ruined by the quite aggressive pre-chorus which then dissolves into a bit of a mysterious yet lackluster chorus…if you can even call it that. Kinda digging the witchy vibe though, and that scares me because the last ESC entry I used that statement for was France 2022. What’s Romanian for ‘doomed’?

Standout line: “Open your mind, just like a door” Knowing me (knowing you), I’ll probably pull when it says push and vice versa.

The Voice: Referencing ‘Fight’ again, we’ve got ample proof that Natalia is a fierce vocalist. The only challenge she has is harnessing her power and knowing when to go full throttle. Which isn’t as often as she seems to think. But it’s a minor criticism, as some of her competitors this year could only dream of having that luxury problem.

The Style: Armography heaven. Even though the Moldovan broadcaster did a great job at failing to capture the performance in the NF and truly do it justice. Loving the concept and I have no doubt it will be amped up for Malmö. If they decide to go down the same road, which I certainly hope they do. I don’t know if I would keep the black outfits, as they tend to lean into invisibility.

In one line: Here I am, stuck in the middle with you.
PERSONAL TOTAL:
Why it will qualify: The notorious Moldovan excellence in selling anything for more than it’s worth.
Why it won’t qualify: Is it in the middle or is it mediocre?
Qualifier? It’s not super flashy in any way so it might lost in the pack. But I dare not discount Moldova at this point.
Winner? They’ll be lucky to land somewhere in the middle.

12. Azerbaijan – Fahree ft. Ilkin Dovlatov – Özünlə Apar

The Song: In a nice change of pace for Azerbaijan, this doesn’t feel like it was ordered from Sweden slash written especially for Eurovision and it makes all the difference. Obviously the production does take the ESC setting into account by amping up the Azeri elements (the instrumentation, the more specific singing sounds). But this feels like it could have existed outside the ESC bubble. The combination of English and Azeri works wonders and I love finally hearing their native language on the ESC stage. The strings are put to excellent use, the beat adds a nice layer whenever it kicks in and the build-up cleverly takes us on such a journey that it’s almost a pity when we reach the end of the song. How’s that for a compliment.

Standout line: “Chaos inside and mysteries unsolved” Life is an Agatha Christie novel.

The Voice: Curious to hear if the range in the studio version can be reached live, especially the falsetto bits. Combining two vocalists is a clever move, I just hope it won’t lead to a Jon-Henrik Fjällgren effect where too much attention is given to what should not necessarily should be the main focus.

The Style: Much like the song, I’m hoping for something understated that just oozes class and serenity. With just a splash of fire, of course. Just the tiniest bit.

In one line: Are we sure this isn’t Albania?
PERSONAL TOTAL:
Why it will qualify: It’s in a league of its own, especially in this semi.
Why it won’t qualify: It’s not Eurovisiony enough.
Qualifier? What’s Azeri for yes?
Winner? Not even in a multiverse of madness.

CURRENT DIMIVISION STANDINGS

LITHUANIA

AZERBAIJAN

  POLAND – MOLDOVA

  CYPRUS – SERBIA – CROATIA – SLOVENIA – FINLAND

IRELAND – UKRAINE – ICELAND

Tomorrow: Australia, Portugal & Luxembourg