Hi Siri, please insert inspirational intro here so I don’t have to. Why? Cause I don’t feel inspired. Why? Jump into today’s trio and find out for yourself! #eurovision #esc2022 #esc22
4. Azerbaijan – Nadir Rustamli – Fade To Black
The Song: Aside from a total lack of punch, this has the weirdest of build-ups. The wannabe-hooks don’t quite work, and the rest of it is just so frikkin somber. If they think they have the next Arcade on their hands, they’d better think again.
Standout line: Error404 – page not found
The Voice: With vocals as uneventful as the song, THAT note better be spot on. Hello, hidden backing vocals?
The Style: If that video is anything to go by, I’m expecting Falling Sand 2: The Mud Stud. Also: how can someone resemble Sam Worthington, Ralph Fiennes, James McAvoy ànd Daniel Radcliffe depending on the shot and lighting?
In one line: You go back to her and I go back to black.
Why it will qualify: Because it’s Azerbaijan?
Why it won’t qualify: Because it makes everyone fade to blackout.
Give your own rating for Azerbaijan down at the bottom of the page
5. Georgia – Circus Mircus – Lock Me In
The Song: This obvious twelve pointer for the UK jury is quite the entry again for Georgia. It’s a tough one to take in at first listen, but I quite like the wall of sound(s) they’re creating. Even if the song consists of a couple of different acts, they’re at least all in the same play. *glares at Israel* The lyrics play a different role than your usual entry, but usual is something this entry sure ain’t. #teamunusual
Standout line: “Take me to the spacecraft take me to dance club” What did the second ‘the’ ever do to you, aliens?
The Voice: As this entry is more than the sum of its parts, this shouldn’t be a point of worry. Which doesn’t mean they should pull a Sophie Carle, of course.
The Style: I’m counting on an avantgarde circus act like we’ve never seen before. No, Spain 2010 does not count.
In one line: Send in the clowns.
Why it will qualify: It’s in a league of its own.
Why it won’t qualify: It’s in a league of its own.
Qualifier? Very borderline. A doubtful YES for now.
Give your own rating for Georgia own at the bottom of the page
6. Malta – Emma Muscat – I Am What I Am
The Song: Oh great, gospel-pop. *curls upper lip* It has to be great to get me on board and this isn’t great by a long shot. A song called ‘I Am What I Am’ needs more gumption, especially during the chorus. The title line sounds more like a lament than a battle cry. Also, without wanting to assume anything about possible personal struggles: ‘I am what I am’ from the mouth of a gorgeous glamazon like Emma feels a bit artificial and dare I say cheap.
Standout line: “Bending backwards trying to fit in” Playing a game of Twister, are we?
The Voice: Emma’s voice doesn’t really suit this kind of song, which requires more power and soul. The overall effect is quite unimpressive.
The Style: I loved their 2019 and 2021 stagings, but those won’t work here. Will she be walking away from a piano mid-song, I wonder…
In one line: I am what I am, I don’t want praise, I don’t want pity.
Why it will qualify: She is what she is, and what she is, is convincing enough.
Why it won’t qualify: What she is, is meh.
Give your own rating for Malta own at the bottom of the page
CURRENT DIMIVISION STANDINGS
NETHERLANDS – PORTUGAL – ICELAND – ARMENIA
ALBANIA – UKRAINE – CROATIA – AUSTRIA – NORWAY – SERBIA – GEORGIA
LATVIA – SWITZERLAND – SLOVENIA – DENMARK – GREECE – FINLAND – ISRAEL
BULGARIA – MOLDOVA – AZERBAIJAN – MALTA
Tomorrow: San Marino, Australia & Cyprus