May is rapidly approaching (no, not Theresa – she’s exiting, haven’t you heard?) so let’s get a move on and fasten your shitbelts for part three of the ESC 2019 previews!
7. HUNGARY – Joci Pápai – Az én apám
The Song: Keeping his 2017 entry in mind I was quite excited to see Joci return. About one minute into this entry though, the excitement fell asleep along with myself. That chorus is sooooo…not even a chorus actually. I know it’s meant to be authentic and all but come on: give us an interesting hook at least. I was prepared to like this, but it has got pipi-pause written all over it.
Standout line: *could not identify standout line*
The Voice: He’s got a bit of a peculiar sound, Joci, but I can dig it. He’s got a bit of a troubadour vibe and I’m sure he livens up many a campfire. But this song could be sung by *insert your favorite male ESC performer ever here* and I’d still feel like I just hit the snooze button.
The Performance: Black outfit? Check. Pants too short? Check. Bare feet? Check. Hair tied in a knot? Check. Beard? Check. Hipster cliché? Check. Expected? Check. Effective? Lol.
In one line: Third time’s a charm, Joci – see you then.
PERSONAL TOTAL: 
Will it qualify? It’s Hungary, so it will probably qualify. I do wonder who will vote for it, besides the odd jury member. So who knows, this could be a rare fail for them.
8. BELARUS – ZENA – Like It
The Song: *double checks* This almost sounds non-Belarussian, is this for real? It’s a nice slice of girl pop, right on trend – what’s happening over there? It’s a bit on the empty side *coughs* but it has me tapping along so I’m not complaining at all, mind you. But it *is* a surprising entry from Belarus. The lyrics are quite nonsensical…
Standout line: “Add hashtag to find ya” #becarefulwhatyouwishfor
The Voice: …and the conveying of said lyrics isn’t helped by the peculiar pronunciation. I was planning on having an elaborate monologue on self-empowerment, because all I could hear was “Is he gonna like it?” which turns out to be “Yes, you’re gonna like it” so that went out the window pretty fast. So, girlfriend might want to put a cork in it and start those annunciation lessons. And get practicing non-stop on those high notes, because those were a bit too screechy for comfort in that NF performance.
The Performance: I kinda dig the no-nonsense performance from the NF. So of course they’re probably going to ruin it completely with something OTT.
In one line: *insert Facebook thumb here*
PERSONAL TOTAL:
Will it qualify? This is one of those that could go either way. It’s not exceptional enough to make you put money on it, at the same time it’s got enough broad appeal not to write it off just yet. I’m carefully labeling this a qualifier, but it won’t set the board on fuego on Saturday night.
9. SERBIA – Nevena Bozovic – Kruna
The Song: What’s there to say that hasn’t been said before with this kind of ballad? It’s just back of the class old skool AF. Some might think it’s a relief having something as trusted as this in the line-up, I get that. But we’ve already seen and heard this one too many time. The two lines in English don’t really add much to the equation, do they?
Standout line: “The crown is yours” Who are you rooting for then? Khaleesi? (#spoileralert) (no really, look away) (last warning!) Jon Snow Aegon Targaryen? Sansa Stark? SPEAK UP!
The Voice: The vocal performance is what kind of makes this tolerable. Nevena’s a decent singer, it’s a pity she doesn’t have that much to work with.
The Performance: I imagine something along the lines of Poland 2017. In black rather than white, maybe – but you get the picture.
In one line: My brain hears ‘Neka’ and automatically goes ‘mi ne svane’ #sorrynotsorry
PERSONAL TOTAL:
Will it qualify? It’s so been-there-done-that that it could very well sneak through because it could feel like a sigh of relief between all of the novelty this year. But it could just as easily be completely forgotten.
CURRENT DIMIVISION STANDINGS
Slovenia
Cyprus – Czech Republic – Belarus
Finland – Serbia
Montenegro – Poland – Hungary
Dimivision 