Eurovision 2014 (P)review – Part 12 – Spain, Sweden & Switzerland

All of this year’s songs have been selected, which means it’s time to start the countdown (cue Final Countdown) for the 2014 edition of our beloved Contest. I’ve only heard a couple of songs before writing this (p)review as I wanted to simulate the sensation of the regular viewer. Curious to see how thàt will turn out? Me too…


The Song: This is the kind of dribble that makes my skin crawl, the kind of false emotions that don’t get my juices flowing at all. It’s only half a song, topping it off with 1.5 minute of pathetic repeating of the title to get a dramatic vibe. Plastic, but not fantastic.

The Voice: Well, miss Lorenzo can sing. Or belt rather. Which gets a bit much after about one minute into the song. She does what it says on the tin, but it does very little for me (For Me, FOR ME – that was a reference to The Rain, THE RAIN, not to Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody #thankyouverymuch)

The Performance: It suits the song – thirteen in a dozen in other words.

Checkpoint DIMI:
Daring? Not exactly, no
Intriguing? Nope
Modern? Twenty years ago, perhaps
International? Fanwank.

In one line: I’d rather have a Las Ketchup dancing the chikichiki.
PREDICTION: Bottom half of the final.


The Song: Sigh. Despite some out of the box stuff in their national final the Swedes went for this. It’s so Fredrik Kempe I could puke. I quite like the vibe in the first minute but when the Big Tin Of Clichés is opened with the backings and the synths it’s all game over for me. And also: Undo my sad? Really???? (rolls eyes frantically)

The Voice: No contesting here, Sanna Nielsen is a GREAT singer. She knows how to sing and sell an entry and I firmly believe she’s the reason why this got picked in the first place. Thàt’s kinda sad – can we undo that? (Yes, I do mean going back to 2008 and alter the future slash create a new dimension in which Hero falls flat on its botoxed face in MF)

The Performance: I hope the backings stay out of the picture, otherwise this might slide into nothingness before you can say Anna Bergendahl. I’d like for Sanna to go back to her PINK hairdo so she looks like a contemporary 31 year old instead of a frumpy housewife. But that’s just me.

Checkpoint DIMI:
Daring? *coughs*
Intriguing? *coughs again*
Modern? *takes cough medicine*
International? I’m afraid not, no.

In one line: Memories of Empty Room keep haunting me.
PREDICTION: Will Europe really fall for this? If they do it’s all thanks to Sanna. If I’d have to point out one surprise non qualifier it would be this one. If it reaches the final I don’t see it doing very much, unless people start comparing her to Ruth Lorenzo.


The Song: I really have to make an effort here to listen to the actual song and I’m liking what I’m hearing. It’s a perfect soundtrack for spring, giving me the same vibe as Malta 2013 ànd 2014 (goes to check if they’re in the same semi – they are – zut alors!). Not too keen on the whistling and the bridge with the clapping, but overall I’m rather happy with this song…

The Voice: …too bad the singer comes across rather clumsy. Perhaps he should have stuck with singing in his mother tongue because I can’t figure out what he’s on about and he sounds out of breath midway. A bit of a working point.

The Performance: Doesn’t need more than the troubadour atmosphere, so please stick with it!

Checkpoint DIMI:
Daring? His English is
Intriguing? Happy, rather
Modern? Wouldn’t go that far, but it’s fresh
International? Sure. If he sharpens up his pronunciation.

In one line: At least these guys sound and look alive (hello, TAKASA?)
PREDICTION: I wonder if Malta and Switzerland will divide and conquer or simply divide. I’d like to see them both back on Saturday, but I fear if one has to go on Thursday it might be this one.


  1. Israel  92
  2. Norway  88
  3. Hungary  87
  4. Iceland  84
  5. Armenia  83
  6. Italy  79
  7. Austria  77
  8. Poland  76
  9. France  75
  10. Germany  75
  11. Netherlands  74
  12. Finland  73
  13. Switzerland  73
  14. Albania  72
  15. Estonia  72
  16. Lithuania  70
  17. FYR Macedonia  68
  18. Malta  67
  19. Belgium  65
  20. Azerbaijan  61
  21. Montenegro  58
  22. Russia  58
  23. Moldova  55
  24. Ireland  52
  25. Sweden 51
  26. Denmark 50
  27. Romania  42
  28. Belarus  42
  29. Slovenia  35
  30. Spain  28
  31. San Marino  26
  32. Greece  18
  33. Portugal  14
  34. Latvia  4
  35. Georgia  0

Published by Dimivision

Overly opinionated. Slightly off my rocker. There's no such thing as a guilty pleasure.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: