All of this year’s songs have been selected, which means it’s time to start the countdown (cue Final Countdown) for the 2014 edition of our beloved Contest. I’ve only heard a couple of songs before writing this (p)review as I wanted to simulate the sensation of the regular viewer. Curious to see how thàt will turn out? Me too…
RUSSIA
The Song: So this is what you get when you combine the powers of P. Kirkorov and G. Borg? I’d have thought (and feared) it would be much more out there when it comes to the production but it is surprisingly middle of the road. It’s all rather safe. They have been listening closely to some Hooverphonic albums (a Belgian band, check them out) but it’s the beige poppy version of them. Lyrically this is among the worst of the year for me, sounding like a page out of a 14 year old girl’s diary. And ‘shine into my darkness’ challenges ‘undo my sad’ as the funniest and/or most cringeworthy line we’ll hear in Copenhagen.
The Voice: I suppose these girls will know how to sing, and as they’re sisters their voices will probably blend beautifully – which might give this entry some redemption.
The Performance: I suppose they won’t use that horrid slideshow in the video as a backdrop – cause nobody cares how you did in JESC ànd after that, ladiez. Curious how they’ll spice up this entry on stage
Checkpoint DIMI:
Daring? Surprisingly shy
Intriguing? Surprisingly bland
Modern? Surprisingly bland
International? The song itself won’t do very much no
In one line: Sometimes the best gets saved for last. Not this time.
PERSONAL TOTAL: 58%
PREDICTION: I suppose this will make the final, being Russia and all. Top ten will be out of reach on Saturday though.
SAN MARINO
The Song: Ow Valentina. Do you really think it’ll ever work when you keep on working with Siegel, who’s been past selling date since the mid eighties? This is the kind of tripe you only get to hear in the Eurovision bubble (well, I for one at least) and again this sounds like the intro of your random hospital series. I just…doesn’t go anywhere. Hashtag hopeless.
The Voice: Valentina is probably the best singer in San Marino. You can interpret that any way you want to.
The Performance: I wonder which Ikea item she’ll drag on stage this time round.
Checkpoint DIMI:
Daring? Hahahahaha. No.
Intriguing? Hahahahaha. No.
Modern? Hahahahaha. No.
International? Hahahahaha. No.
In one line: Maybe. But probably not.
PERSONAL TOTAL: 26%
PREDICTION: They say third time’s a charm. There’s always to old exception to the rule.
SLOVENIA
The Song: Hidden deep beneath this boring pile of nothing is a nice little song that is BEGGING for a different production – give this a haunting rock jacket or subdued electro vest and this could really turn into something fashionable. Now this will end up in the sales bin.
The Voice: Adequate enough but way too goody two shoes.
The Performance: Seriously, EVERYONE knows you’re NOT playing that flute. This song might actually benefit from a performance like Estonia or Lithuania have as it would suit the song. Which says enough.
Checkpoint DIMI:
Daring? Far from it
Intriguing? Middle of the road, more like it
Modern? Not quite, no
International? Generic, so no
In one line: Why did you even bother, Slovenia?
PERSONAL TOTAL: 35%
PREDICTION: I can’t see this setting the board on fire. Stuck in the semi.
CURRENT RESULTS
- Israel 92
- Norway 88
- Hungary 87
- Iceland 84
- Armenia 83
- Italy 79
- Austria 77
- Poland 76
- France 75
- Germany 75
- Netherlands 74
- Finland 73
- Albania 72
- Estonia 72
- Lithuania 70
- FYR Macedonia 68
- Malta 67
- Belgium 65
- Azerbaijan 61
- Montenegro 58
- Russia 58
- Moldova 55
- Ireland 52
- Denmark 50
- Romania 42
- Belarus 42
- Slovenia 35
- San Marino 26
- Greece 18
- Portugal 14
- Latvia 4
- Georgia 0
