While I’m still in recovery from a chocolate hangover after this Easter weekend, I am ready to wrap up semi 1. That includes some kind of careful preliminary predictions cfr qualifications. Which mean diddly squat at this point in time, but let’s try anyway! #eurovision #esc2022
16. Norway – Subwoolfer – Give That Wolf A Banana
The Song: For something that sounds like a terrible idea, this is a rather solid package. The tongue-in-cheek (and by extension tongue-in-other-things…) lyrics are secretly genius, however silly they may seem. The beat is nothing other than totally sick. It’s great to see our rainbow family represented in a different and dare I say non-cliché way.
Standout line: ”Is that saliva or blood dripping off your chin?” Neither, but if you mistaking those two that easily… a visit to the dentist might be in order.
The Voice: It’s The Masked Singer Goes Eurovision, y’all. With that amount of choreo to cover, these vocals are quite nice! Are they actually live, as they’re supposed to be? Or is it really the astronaut who looks like a lost extra that’s covering the vocals? Who can say?
The Style: Again: For something that sounds like a terrible idea, this is a rather solid package. The cut-outs are so clumsy they’re awesome, and the hyped Minions in the back are hysterical. Loving the choreo and loving how they keep up the restrained silliness until the very end.
In one line: What a big mouth you have!
PERSONAL TOTAL: 
Why it will qualify: It’s bananas, and Europe goes bananas with/for them.
Why it won’t qualify: It’s bananas in the Malou Prytz kind of way.
Qualifier? YES
Give your own rating for Norway down at the bottom of the page
17. Armenia – Rosa Linn – Snap
The Song: Everyone get your marshmallows out, we’re gathering around the fire for a little song’n singin’! It’s a quintessential middle-of-the-venn-diagram entry: something for everyone, and offensive to none. Well, that counting comes dangerously close to being annoying. But it contributes to the earwurmness of it all, so I’ll allow it.
Standout line: “I can‘t turn my head off” Join the overthinking club, darling. We’ve got jackets.
The Voice: No clue. Is she a The Voice alumn? I hope the delivery will be crisp rather than over-emoted anyway.
The Style: How cute is that video? Takes me right back to the Disney’s UP! All of the Feels! Could be promising for the live act. Could also lead to disappointment.
In one line: Wait…this is not about the Thanos-snap, right?
PERSONAL TOTAL:
Why it will qualify: It’s so fluffy!
Why it won’t qualify: It falls flat.
Qualifier? YES
Give your own rating for Armenia own at the bottom of the page
Qualification prediction
Oh sweet Jiebus, here we go. It’s always a stab in the dark at this point, with a very mixed bag of entries and a very mixed bag of info (or lack thereof) when it comes to staging ideas and/or live vocals.
There are six solid contenders for a spot in the final: Armenia, Norway, Lithuania, Netherlands, Albania and Ukraine.
There are four rather definite no’s: Denmark, Bulgaria, Slovenia and Croatia.
Which leaves seven entries for four final places: Latvia, Switzerland, Portugal, Moldova, Iceland, Greece and Austria.
So let’s keep it at these ten for now:
- Armenia
- Norway
- Iceland
- Austria
- Netherlands
- Ukraine
- Lithuania
- Albania
- Portugal
- Moldova
But here’s a free pinch of salt to hold on to until May.
Tomorrow: kicking off semi 2 with Finland, Israel and Serbia.
CURRENT DIMIVISION STANDINGS
LITHUANIA
NETHERLANDS – PORTUGAL – ICELAND – ARMENIA
ALBANIA – UKRAINE – CROATIA – AUSTRIA – NORWAY
LATVIA – SWITZERLAND – SLOVENIA – DENMARK – GREECE
BULGARIA – MOLDOVA
Dimivision 