Mid April? Exqueeze me?
Less than a month until Eurovision? Exqueeze me more?
High time to wake up from my XXL winter sleep and dive into this year’s contestants!
Who’ll come out on top? Let’s find out together. As usual we’ll tackle them in threes, so watch this space in the next fortnite!
#eurovision #eurovisionpreviews
1. Albania – Ronela Hajati – Sekret
The Song: Zumbalicious. Can totally picture a Zumba choreo to this…or a remix of it, as we’re getting one too many restarts to really get into the groove. But when it does get going it’s almost addictive and the touches of ethnic vibe are ace. Add some clever soundbites and you’ve got yourself a solid mid-fielder in the final.
Standout line: “Goin‘ mad when I whine it” Are we sure there isn’t an ‘h’ too many in there?
The Voice: Ronela nailed that NF performance. Suppose the altered version shouldn’t be a problem either…especially as she wrote the song herself.
The Style: If they keep the rather raunchy vibe from the video, they could give a certain Iberian country a run for their money!
In one line: A Sekret Kombinätiön
PERSONAL TOTAL: 
Why it will qualify: The full package.
Why it won’t qualify: She chooses to wear a silver catsuit. (I know, that reference is sooooo last year.)
Qualifier? YES
Give your own rating for Albania down at the bottom of the page
2. Latvia – Citi Zēni – Eat Your Salad
The Song: Being green may be hot and cool, but that chorus is anything but. Nor are the rest of the lyrics, tbh. Pity, as the funky style and production promise a lot. The (often silent) profanity presumably needs to amp up the cool factor, but alas. I keep it at salad and veggies anyway, so I’m good thanks.
Standout line: “Bend over, then jiggle that peach” Twerking is like soooo 2013.
The Voice: I mean, as far as the more jokey entries go this isn’t even half bad. I don’t even mind the wild attempts at MC-ing.
The Style: The casual suits are a great choice, as are the colors. The basic choreo adds little to the aspired coolness.
In one line: Even in a bunch of 40 songs, this immediately sounds like the Latvian entry so I guess they’ve got the branding down?
PERSONAL TOTAL:
Why it will qualify: At least one of these qualifies each year, and this is a funky one
Why it won’t qualify: Really, Latvia?
Qualifier? Borderline, but NO
Give your own rating for Latvia down at the bottom of the page
3. Lithuania – Monika Liu – Sentimentai
The Song: I don’t know which universe I just got transported to, but I want more! The quirky little chorus versus the mysterious and at times ominous verses is a contrast to die for. Loving the electronics seasoned with the…steeldrums? Bells? Xylophone? Intriguing in more than one way anyway.
Standout line: “waving to a seagull so far, far away…” Far, far away is the only acceptable distance between a seagull and a person.
The Voice: That NF performance was spot on. She’s a pro, honey.
The Style: I still don’t know if I actually like the Mireille Mathieu haircut, but a genius move it is either way. So is the dress. Simple, yet gorgeously effective. Will we see a different approach? Sure hope not.
In one line: Feelings.
PERSONAL TOTAL:
Why it will qualify: It’s quirky and different.
Why it won’t qualify: It’s a tad too much in its own lane.
Qualifier? YES
Give your own rating for Lithuania down at the bottom of the page
CURRENT DIMIVISION STANDINGS
LITHUANIA
ALBANIA
LATVIA
Tomorrow: Switzerland, Slovenia & Ukraine
Dimivision 