Eurovision 2018 Preview Part 9: Moldova, Netherlands & Australia

Posted: 12/04/2018 in Eurovision 2018, Eurovision 2018 preview

Another day, another threesome – in our previews, silly! Though I bet if you asked nicely you’d find a candidate or two in our bunch for today, cause everybody’s got a little outlaw in ’em after all, right? Or is it all less exciting than you’d initially think? Happy reading and voting!

AUSTRALIA 

PERFORMER: Jessica Mauboy
SONG: We got love

The Song: Remember when we thought Australia would perhaps bring a new vibe to the Contest? Me neither. This is so run-of-the-mill-this-might-do-well-at-Eurovision-pop-fodder I could die. Oh, and hands up if you think Euphoria’s about to start each time you hear that ‘whyyyy’ at the start of the song! o/ o/ o/ o/ o/

Standout lyrics: ” I know, I know what you must be thinking” – No, you really really don’t.

The Voice: So it’s finally miss Mauboy’s turn, after she covered Australia’s prequel in the 2014 edition. That was a rather painful affair in terms of vocals, which might explain why Australia’s waited another four years before naming her the actual contestant. Here’s hoping she’s had some serious vocal training in the meantime, otherwise she’ll definitely know what we’re all thinking.

The Performance: If it’s as good as the song, I think I might have found my pee-break already. Let’s just hope it’s more Guy Sebastian and less Duckwalking Daenerys from last year’s edition.

In one line: *swipes left*
Why it will qualify: Europe wants and needs another trashy pop song in the final.
Why it won’t:
It’s too generic to really leave a mark.
Biggest competition in this semi:
Malta.
Pre-Contest status:
Despite its cheesiness this might sneak through. A careful qualifier for now.

PERSONAL TOTAL


MOLDOVA 

PERFORMERS: DoReDos
SONG: My Lucky Day

The Song: Past experience (2012, 2017) has taught me that the Moldovan joie-de-vivre can be widely appreciated and can even overcome rather bizarre performances. They also have a love for brass instruments, which is clearly demonstrated in this trumpet-friendly little ditty. Those trumpets make you my girl are quite infectious, and almost make you forget the clumsiness of this lightweight entry. Which is kinda really very clumsy. Just a bit too clumsy. And also: seems like a trend to only count to two this year. Even though that’s even, it’s kinda odd.

Standout lyrics: “The rhythm is drivin’ me wild” – You said it!

The Voice: Is it the ‘quality’ of the video of the live performance that doesn’t do them justice, or are they really not gifted vocalists? I just answered my own question, I know. I suppose it doesn’t really matter that much, does it.

The Performance: Part of me is hoping they’ll bring the movable mirrors to Lisbon, just so they can recreate that image of the audience reflected in the mirror, not giving a single fuck about what’s happening on stage. Which isn’t a lot, and isn’t really very imaginative. Suits the song to a T then!

In one line: Do, a deer a female deer – Re, a drop of golden sun – Dos…erm…erm… cervezas por favor.
Why it will qualify: We need this kind of innocent silliness in Eurovision.
Why it won’t:
You’ve seen that live performance, right?
Biggest competition in this semi:
Dunno, Poland?
Pre-Contest status:
I’d say non-qualifier, but then again anything can happen when it comes to Moldova. Especially in this draw. You know, I’m gonna say qualifier and leave it at that.

PERSONAL TOTAL


NETHERLANDS

PERFORMER: Waylon
SONG: Outlaw In ‘Em

The Song: So, clearly Waylon didn’t think his 2014 co-entry was Lucky Luke enough for his country taste and he decided to really go all the way. I’m a firm believer in more is more when the time is right, so I don’t really mind that he’s laying it on REALLY thick in this cross-over between Bon Jovi and *insert random Clint Eastwood country clone here*. It certainly is one of a kind in this edition, if indeed in the history of the Contest (no, Texas Lightning does not exactly count). Question is: do folks appreciate this type of lasso throwing, horse riding, whiskey drinking entry?

Standout lyrics: “It’s a fine, fine line between whiskey and water into wine” – Well, at least he knows.

The Voice: That performance where he sang the song for the first time is really knock-you-off-your-socks material. He knows how to find his way around the notes and pours it on even thicker than the melody suggests. Might not exactly be my barrel of whiskey, but it’s Impressive with a capital I nonetheless.

The Performance: As the song and the vocal rendition are so in-your-face Over The Top, I expect nothing less than  a recreation of the Wild West on stage.

In one line: Just a poor lonesome cowboy.
Why it will qualify: It’s one-of-a-kind.
Why it won’t:
It’s too cliché and in your face.
Biggest competition in this semi:
Waylon’s mirror.
Pre-Contest status:
This should qualify rather easily. Don’t know how it’ll fare on Saturday though.

PERSONAL TOTAL

CURRENT RESULTS

  Nobody (yet)
  Croatia, Armenia, Greece, Belgium, Estonia
  Bulgaria, Switzerland, Cyprus, Norway, Czechia, Lithuania, Russia, Netherlands, Israel
  FYROM, Albania, Moldova, Finland, Azerbaijan, Romania, Austria, Australia, Serbia, Ireland
  San Marino, Denmark, Belarus, Iceland

 

 

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