Eurovision 2016 Preview part 6 – The ‘S’ countries

Posted: 24/04/2016 in Eurovision 2016

All of this year’s songs have been selected, which means it’s time to (finally) start the countdown for the 2016 edition of our beloved Contest. I’ll be tackling the participating songs in alphabetical order, with on the menu today: The ‘S’ countries!

San Marino

SAN MARINO

The Song: I kinda liked the original version, because it was so damn odd, until a friend declared it sounded like something a violator would whisper in the ear of his victim at the time of the (undescribed) terrible deed – that took away all the love I felt for it. And that was even before that dreadful discobeat was added to the mix. Some say it lifts the song. They’re wrong. It’s the final stab for an already wounded entry.

The Voice: I just can’t do this. I can only muster an ever so genuine “WTF???!!!!”.

The Performance: I am extremely curious how they’ll drown this already dead (yet undoubtedly immortal) entry.

In one line: Bond villain trying to disco us all to death. (There a sentence I never thought I’ use…)
PERSONAL TOTAL: 20%
PREDICTION: No effing way is this ever going to qualify. Is it?

Serbia

SERBIA

The Song: Just when we needed that touch of vintage class, we get the Serbian entry that brings back a whiff of Amy Winehouse – even though the composition is never near as exciting as anything Amy’s ever done, but I’ll take what I can get. The excitement makes way after about two minutes for what is a feeling of…boredom? They sure forgot to inject a bit of umph in that last minute, making it a bit hard to digest. Ow, and also – please make up your mind: Goodbye or Shelter. No brackets needed, me thinks.

The Voice: Excellent, simply excellent.

The Performance: Now this is where I’m a bit torn. On the one hand, Sanja is clearly a real performer and her signature style should not be put aside that easily. On the other hand, I feel she does need to turn it down a notch (or three) as her lively performance kinda contradicts the feeling of the song. Less staged drama, more real emotions?

In one line: It’s rather good, no shelter needed.
PERSONAL TOTAL: 70%
PREDICTION: I see this reaching the final, no clue at all how she’ll fare there. Borderline top ten?

Slovenia

SLOVENIA

The Song: Oh my. I should hate this clumsy Mumford and Daughters (thanks, Polle) effort, but it actually kinda makes me happy. I feel like I should go wash myself. Still: “Cause blue is blue and red is red”? Oh my. (Yes, you need to read that in a George Takei voice)

The Voice: She sounds like Taylor Swifts demented little sister, no? Adds a layer of fun though.

The Performance: THE big working point here – scratch everything you did in that NF, especially those dreadful outfits (yes, both of them). Keep the bubbly atmosphere, but please in a much less clumsy way.

In one line: Allay!!!
PERSONAL TOTAL: 67%
PREDICTION: Who can say, in semi 2? I feel this could get stuck there – if they do make the final, they won’t play a significant role.

Spain

SPAIN

The Song: I’m sorry, but I don’t hear much of a song here. I do hear some random bits and pieces that are glued together, but an actual structure or a decent melody? Nope.

The Voice: Barei isn’t really that good of a singer, is she? Shouter, more like it.

The Performance: Those moves are soooo 2012 – is that all you can do to try to impress us?

In one line: This puts the pain in Spain.
PERSONAL TOTAL: 28%
PREDICTION: Perhaps I’m too blinded by my own irritation, but I can’t see the crowd saying Yeah to this.

Sweden

SWEDEN

The Song: Even though I thought there were a couple of better songs in MF this year, I get why this won. It’s very ‘now’, the laidback beat and structure of the song work well with the semi-poetic lyrics (well…). Comparable songs have fared rather well in the European charts the past couple of months, so I get why they picked it. Still wouldn’t have picked it myself though.

The Voice: THE big question mark for me. I absolutely hate how off Frans sounds in parts (well about 85% of the song) – but it does work with the laidback vibe I guess.

The Performance: Suppose they’ll change little to nothing from what we’ve seen already, and that’s okay. Understated performance for an understated song, seems right.

In one line: #sorrynotsorry
PERSONAL TOTAL: 62%
PREDICTION: I do wonder how well appreciated it’ll all be outside of Sweden, where nobody knows Frans and his charming little backstory. If people get it, this might be VERY dangerous. But it could just as well repeat their last home entry’s result.

Switzerland

SWITZERLAND

The Song: Well, let’s hope this is the last of its kind. This goes absolutely nowhere, from the very first seconds even and it only gets worse through the chorus and towards the end. The lyrics, the production, the melody – I simply dislike everything, I’m afraid. How the hell did this win the NF?

The Voice: Doesn’t really help save this already annoying entry – she sounds as if she’s being strangled while she’s singing, quite peculiar.

The Performance: I can think of nothing that would save this. Besides getting rid of that awful hairdo, perhaps.

In one line: Survival of the fittest is a wonderful thing, sometimes.
PERSONAL TOTAL: 19%
PREDICTION: Redemption will have to wait yet another year, my dear Suisse.

 

Current Standings:

  1. Armenia – 91
  2. Latvia – 87
  3. Italy – 82
  4. France – 80
  5. Germany – 80
  6. Estonia – 79
  7. Austria – 78
  8. Georgia – 75
  9. Cyprus – 74
  10. Finland – 71
  11. Serbia – 70
  12. Australia – 70
  13. Hungary – 69
  14. Iceland – 68
  15. Montenegro – 68
  16. Slovenia – 67
  17. Israel – 65
  18. Belgium – 63
  19. Sweden – 62
  20. Russia – 62
  21. Bosnia & Herzegovina – 62
  22. Bulgaria – 61
  23. Moldova – 60
  24. Albania – 60
  25. Lithuania – 60
  26. Czech Republic – 59
  27. Azerbaijan – 55
  28. Malta – 53
  29. Ireland – 51
  30. Poland – 47
  31. F.Y.R. Macedonia – 46
  32. Croatia – 42
  33. Spain – 28
  34. Norway – 25
  35. San Marino – 20
  36. Switzerland – 19
  37. Romania – 18
  38. Belarus- 14
  39. Greece – 13
  40. Denmark – 10
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