Eurovision 2026 Review: Riot or Retire?

Welcome to the riot … or ready to retire? That’s the question. Happy 70th birthday, I guess. Bangaranga.

The reflection (in your eyes)

Confession time: I have been on the fence for months if I should even cover the 2026 edition of my once favorite event of the year. Hell, I wasn’t even sure if I was even going to watch it. The shenanigans in the ’24 and ’25 editions left a really foul taste in my mouth, and the goings-on at the organizational level between June and December left A LOT to be desired. I didn’t know if I could justify promoting an event that I don’t fully engage and/or align with anymore through this blog. But doing/saying nothing isn’t an option, and if the ship is gonna go down I’d like a firsthand experience to tell the tale. So let’s open this review by addressing the elephant in the room (again), shall we? And I’m not gonna recycle my statement on “United by Music” this year, even if it still stands. The cracks have become more than visible in the (run-up to the) 2026 season, even if the people at the EBU (glares at Martin Green) try their darndest to rationalize slash minimize the entire shituation. But with five countries withdrawing, amongst which one of the Big Five, it’s a really hard sell. The fact that they had to (allegedly) make some concessions to withdrawn countries to encourage their return so they could guarantee a big enough field to justify having two semi finals is telling. That one of those countries eventually took the win, and another took the bronze, is delicious irony. But my friends, in the words of Youtuber ESCGabe: we can’t keep doing this. He made an excellent analysis, go watch it. Another split screen with Israel, another continental sigh of relief. How many more semi-heart attacks can we collectively take? How much more of this can the Contest take before the damage is actually irreparable, if that isn’t the case already? It all made for very uncomfortable viewing, and then we haven’t even covered the actual shows. The result? A 70th birthday celebration that felt forced and subdued, rather than joyful and fun. If the eventual winner hadn’t been this infectious and rebellious, Eurovision could’ve made its way to the retirement home already – even without thàt country winning. And judging by the viewing figures and the (lack of) chart performances (Bulgaria excluded), we’re not out of the woods just yet. It begs the question whether we will ever get out. I might be cynical about it, but that’s only because my longtime fan-heart is bleeding.

The show

OK, let’s cover the actual event then. Or, at times, the non-event. Because even though this followed the blueprint of the past, give or take, 13 years, the entire script for all three shows felt like it was written by AI. Mostly getting the structure right but not quite hitting the nail on the head when it came to content and flow. Not even the running order in the final seemed to make any sense. Same goes for the postcards, where artists were pictured like avatars, floating around pretty Austrian hot spots. They felt like dream sequences in a telenovela and looked so damn oldskool they nearly awoke Lys Assia.

Speaking of winners: there weren’t a lot of them around to celebrate this particular birthday. Even Conchita, local hero after all, said a firm ‘danke, aber nein danke’ to this farcical edition (and thus remains a hero to many). The pickings were apparently so slim for interval acts that we even got a random version of ‘I’m So Excited” in semi 2 – the irony and sublimination of it all. That was nothing however compared to the Austria-Australia sketch from semi 1, for which I have no words – no decent ones anyway. Just wondering how Go-Jo got to be there. The intervals in the Grand (coughs) Final were hardly any better/less random, though I quite enjoyed the Eurovision medley, even if it included rando’s like Erika Vikman and Max Mutzke (?!). Lordi covering Le Papa Pingouin and Save Your Kisses For Me was not on my 2026 bingo card, but that was all kinds of everything. Should have given them all of the interval time. Oh, and a special mention to JJ who got to sing his new song – excellent stuff, if he had entered again for Austria I dare say they’d have had a double whammy on their hands.

One giant plus in all this mess: the stage. Loved the center piece, the swirl around it, the catwalk – it all made for a very flexible and dynamic setting. The way the flags were shown was excellent by the way. Top notch work by the art and lighting production.

The hosts

And speaking of chaos: Svarowski and Ostrowski had been dealt an incredibly difficult hand, so I’m cutting them a lot of slack – the scripts were horrendous and they had to cover A LOT. They tried their best and I appreciate them for it. Their rendition of last year’s winner was actually funny and they even got some more laughs out of me throughout the shows. But those moments were rare, alas. And while I appreciate their individual styles, the synergy wasn’t exactly smoldering and was even borderline awkward at times. Or maybe it was due to the fact that they popped up every other song. The days of having a full on intro for each song were two decades behind us, no? Gotta give it up for the quirky Ostrowski though, the man has style – a particular one, yes, but style nonetheless.

The voting

Again: we can’t keep doing this.

The songs

Gosh, I really missed having Spain, Slovenia, Iceland, Netherlands and Ireland there. On top of that, there was a clear drop in song level this year – probably because a win didn’t seem that tempting to many. But the amount of songs that feel like they could actually survive outside the ESC bubble felt scarce. I only actively love my top 5, the rest I could probably not ever hear again in my life and think twice about it. Now watch me pour some love on Senhit, haha.

I didn’t cover the semis this year, so I’m gonna make up for that by declaring my ‘the one that got away’ for each semi. In semi 1 I would have gladly swapped out Serbia, Greece or (obviously) Israel for my girl Senhit from San Marino. I thought she did a great job, pity she had to bring out the random distraction that was Boy George. In semi 2 I would have preferred seeing Latvia in the Final over Czechia, I thought Atvara was simply mesmerizing. But alas, it wasn’t meant to be.

Now for the main course: the final! What tickled my fancy…and what didn’t? As usual, the live versions delivered different results than what the previews held in store! Here are the countries that didn’t manage to sneak their way into the Dimivision top ten:

25. ISRAEL – NO. #stopthegenocide #freepalestine

24. GREECE – I dreaded the day I would have to type these words, but here we are: I am too old for this shit. This was ADHD wrapped in an orange furry blanket and let’s face it: this was never going to be the successor to Cha Cha Cha some fans made it out to be. Loved his beaming cute little face though.

23. SERBIA – What in the actual orc was this? Those verses sound ATROCIOUS and the chorus only half makes up for them. Not feeling this one at all.

22. UNITED KINGDOM – Oh, how I wanted to put this up higher but I simply can’t. The song is fine in itself though it is A LOT to take in… and then they went and over-staged it. Too many ideas, too much kerfuffle with the tables, too much shouting – too much of something is bad enough, but too much of everything? Eins, zwei, nein.

21. CZECHIA – Pretty little poser. Love those high notes but they are few and far between and what is actually in between and around them is just way too arty farty for my liking. Leaves me stone cold.

20. ITALY – The Love Boat vibes are strong in this one and I am not having it. Like, at all. The theatrical old skool performance feels desperately dated and not delightfully vintage…and don’t even get me started on the flag reveal. Not even the half naked dancer could save this. Oh right, there was Sal as well. Pity his vocals weren’t. Bless his heart and his Toto Cutugno-black hair (shout out to my friend Gino for this one). Per sempre no.

19. NORWAY – OK, so I had this pegged for a dangerous outsider beforehand but oh was I wrong. The song remains a radio friendly party starter. But Jonas reaaaally tried to strangle every little chance it had with those terrible high notes. He didn’t hit a single one, and they are the main part of what makes the song. The screeching, my gosh! No wonder he let the recorded backings take care of the last part of the performance. Probably my biggest disappointment of the year.

18. POLAND – Don’t you just hate it when you get a fantastic singer with enough attitude for days and then they make you sit through whatever this gospely, R&B, churchy 90’s composition is trying to be? I do.

17. GERMANY – G for Germany, G for Generic. This could have ended up 11th in the Melodifestivalen Final of 2013. It sure ain’t no Fuego. But kudos on the dance break.

16. CYPRUS – With those vocals in the semi I for sure thought the party was going to end there. But she made it and she actually delivered an okay performance in the Grand Final. Vocally okay-ish – but the dancing, hip shaking and hairography were on fucking point. And the bronzer on that glistening sculptured body was the star of the show. Not great all in all, but at least it was fun.

15. BELGIUM – I didn’t even expect her here, so kudos to Elyssa. But go ahead girl, give us nothing. No anunciation, hardly any dancing in a song about dancing… Luckily there were some excellent vocals there, and we gotta give props to the dancers and the art director for saving this.

14. MALTA – Gosh, I love a good sleeveless top on a guy with the guns to pull it off. Ten points from Gryffinwhore! Ten more for eye-fucking the camera that well. Visually and vocally more than okay, just a pity that the chorus is so damn lazy.

13. AUSTRIA – Still loving this odd mix of The Roop and Alf Poier, even if it was always going to be difficult to translate this to the big stage. The vocals were way better than any snippet beforehand had led me to believe they would be. It was simply feeling a bit too much like a we-don’t-wanna-win-again-home-entry.

12. CROATIA – Sisters! Tonite we gather!! Visually stunning, vocally convincing and a good hook… but leaning way too heavy on the Middle Ages for a 2026 entry. Sorry, sisters.

11. SWEDEN –I don’t even know how it got this high, because those vocals are dancing on the ice from where I’m sitting. There’s something about the drops in this song that tickles me however, and I do like me some EDM. The synths make up for a lot here, and there is a lot to be made up for: the theatrics with the mask & glasses, the LED projections, the silly deep ‘my system’… But I somehow can’t get it out of my systeeeeeem. Send help.

And now for the points of the Dimivision jury:

1 point: Lithuania – Lion Ceccah – Solo Quiero Mas

Much like the performance, I feel all over the place about this one. I like the visual aspects in this a lot, from the silver skin over the robot dancing to the projections. I also like the parts of the song where the beats kick in, and the vocal performance in the first part is ace. I do not quite like the random lyrics and language switching, nor do I like the vocal performance in the second part of the song – even if it’s way better than the semi performance. But all in all I do like and hugely appreciate the artistic vision here, so one point it is.

2 points: Australia – Delta Goodrem – Eclipse

Listen, if this had been in anyone else’s hands, literally anyone, this would have been waaaay further down the list. Because let’s face it: this feels like Eurovision-paint-by-numbers as far as the song goes. And the performance follows suit, with that golden auto-playing piano and the rising platform. It almost feels like a parody, and it’s all saved by the wonder that is called Delta Goodrem. This lady had to learn how to speak again a couple of years ago and then she ends up being able to do THIS? All of the respect, all of the love.

3 points: Albania – Alis – Nan

This was my favorite going into ESC-week, based on audio alone. And while there’s still plenty to love on that front, I wasn’t too keen on the visual aspect of things. The sentimentality of it all! I admit that the ‘mom’ theme ruffles some feathers currently at Casa Dimivision, and it didn’t help that this was so telenovela in its choices. I also really didn’t like how the backings were integrated in the stage concept – gimme a live bunch any day of the week. But Alis did a great job, so 3 points it is.

4 points: Ukraine – Leléka – Ridnym

In a reversal of fortune vis-à-vis Albania, I did not have this on my radar at all beforehand. And even in the semi this confused the hell out of me. It wasn’t until the final that everything clicked. I kinda vibe with this odd little bird now. Was it because I only had three hours of sleep on Friday night? Maybe. Why that was? Just wait a couple more entries for the answer.

5 points: France – Monroe – Regarde

All that and she’s ONLY 17???? What a fucking star. Seriously. The song is a bit hot and cold, and still too much of a style exercise and not enough of an actual song. But what a powerhouse. What’s French for SLAY? Wait, I should know that, shouldn’t I?

6 points: Finland – Pete Parkonnen & Linda Lampenius – Leikinheitin

I blame the theatrics and the hypnotic violin, because as a song it’s not that super thrilling – it takes a bit too long to get going, and the ending is all kinds of messy. But then that’s kind of the point and frankly: I’m here for the drama. That includes them not getting higher than 6th. They did a great job all in all, and even if Pete reminds me of an adult version of Lando Norris he can still slide into my DM’s any day. Oh, and Linda’s a queen. That’s all.

7 points: Denmark – Søren Torpegaard Lund – Før vi går hjem

This felt very much like my Friday night. Nuff said. Everything about this was excellent: the staging, the camerawork, the movement, the vocals – on fucking point. Thought the opening slot would kill its chances, happy to see I was wrong. Perhaps a tad too night club to really go all the way, but it’s the focused and edited version of what Dizzy was trying to do and it’s simply bang on the money – not an intended pun in sight.

8 points: Moldova – Satoshi – Viva Moldova

Speaking of DM’s: hi, Satoshi. I caught an Australian TikTokker going through all of the entries and she wondered out loud for this one why gay people have a (not so secret) crush on their high school bullies and honestly I feel seen. Must be the explosion of testosterone that blows us away. Besides raging hormones I had so much fun with this. The explosion of Moldovan colors, power and pride was just a great vibe – now thàt’s what I call representing your country. Saluti a tutti, Moldova is on duty! Bonus points for recreating the Aliona Moon moment. Such fun!

10 points: Bulgaria – Dara – Bangaranga

I loved this from the moment I heard it but did I ever think/dream that this would win, let alone trample all over everyone? Not really…until we saw that performance. This is Fuego-level of leveling up and Dara kicked this performance’s ass. The masks at the start freak me out, not gonna lie. And the 70s waiting room in a psychiatric facility vibes were somewhat odd. But it all worked because they màde it work. It all made the slightly odd structure of the song feel like a full blown concept. The parts of the song that have an eastern vibe to it really work like a (snake) charm and the wild parts are a nice contradiction. And again: Dara was on another level. So was her dancing crew. Surprise winner and I don’t mind it in the slightest. BANGARANGA!

12 points: Romania – Alexandra Capitanescu – Choke Me

First things first: hello, juries? What the hell? Only 30-something points? Make it make sense. Super confused, because this is one of the most professional and complete packages in this field. It’s got a clear vision and an excellent execution – loved the addition of the ghost, it added so much to the dark vibes even if it was in white. Could have done with a more exciting use of the glowing guitar strings, and fewer manic movements perhaps. But again: it was a clear vision and it all fits the song. Vocally awesome and a song that smells like danger – my kinda combo.

Well there you go, some seriously Balkan(ish) top three power for ya! Never did I ever think I’d end up with a top three like this and I like that element of surprise. Pity about all the various shit that had to lead up to it. Congratz anyway Bulgaria, that was an awesome win.

So…how different does your top ten look?

All Time Chart

And finally a quick look at the Dimivision all time ranking, where Finland passed the 200 points threshold ànd Sweden in one fell swoop. Meanwhile Denmark crossed the 100 point barrier, and both Romania and Bulgaria take a leap…in the lower regions.

Rank	Country	Points	Victory
1	France	252	1960-1977-1991-2002
2	Netherlands	235	1970-1971-1992
3	Belgium	208	1968-1983-1986-1990-2003
4	Finland	204	1962-1979-1985-1988-1989-2006-2007
5	Sweden	202	1974-2012-2018
6	Italy	191	1958-1964-1978-1992-2021
7	Norway	186	1966-1982-2000-2013
8	Germany	186	1959-1975-2011
9	Portugal	183	1972-1998-2017
10	Spain	151	1973-2022
11	Ireland	136	1969-1980-1984-1996
12	UK	135	1961-1965
13	Israel	118	1976
14	Switzerland	117	2024
15	Luxembourg	113	1956-1967
16	Turkey	105
17	Denmark	102	1957-1963-2001
18	Greece	90	1981
19	Iceland	88	1987-2019
20	Austria	82	2014
21	Slovenia	78
22	Yugoslavia	76
23	Estonia	67	1999
24	Bosnia-Herzegovina	66
25	Russia	61	1994
26	Ukraine	61	2004
27	Croatia	54
28	Monaco	51
29	Cyprus	51
30	Hungary	48
31	Serbia	47
32	Moldova	37
33	Romania	36	2010 – 2026
34	Lithuania	36
35	Latvia	35	2015
36	Australia	32
37	Armenia	30	2016
38	Poland	28	1997
39	Albania	27	2025
40	Bulgaria	26
41	Azerbaijan	22
42	Malta	22
43	Georgia	20
44	North Macedonia	14
45	San Marino	11
46	Czechia	7
47	Slovakia	6
48	Belarus	4
49	Montenegro	0

Read you in the spring of next year…maybe…probably…