Welcome back to this year’s previews! Time to dive into Semi 2, brace yourself!
1. Denmark – Reiley – Break My Heart
The Song: Well, this sounds surprisingly un-Denmark-at-ESC! It’s something Years ’n Years could have released in their earlier days and that is not the shabbiest of comparisons in the slightest. It stops and starts maybe one time too many to really grab you, but it’s a nice contemporary pop tune.
Standout line: “Still thinking ’bout September” September as in singer Petra Marklund? Me too! Alexa, play Cry For You again!
The Voice: Okay enough, but the real distraction is that electronic effect – can’t discern whether it’s on his voice or a background effect but it’s super annoying. I know tech revolution is inescapable in ESC but this is getting borderline silly.
The Style: I know this is just the frustration from my visible grey hair talking, but Riley really looks like he belongs at Junior ESC. Youth envy aside, it all feels fresh and exciting. Reminds me of that opener for Malta a couple of years ago, with all the projections and vibrant colors. What was her name again? Damn, my grey hair has multiple effects. *cue crying* Michaela, it’s Michaela! And I didn’t even have to Google that! *sigh of relief*
In one line: Nobody puts babyface in a corner.
Why it will qualify: It’s perfectly preppy and poppy.
Why it won’t qualify: Riley’s babysitter intervenes.
2. Armenia – Brunette – Future Lover
The Song: It all starts off nice and endearing but quickly turns into something that is so angsty that it gets quite…uncomfortable? The lyrics are a tad too Diary Of Loneliness – speaking from experience here – which makes it all too somber and gloomy to really seduce me into liking it. It isn’t helped at all by the rather heavy handed production. It’s clearly a professional package, don’t get me wrong – it’s just so caught up in its own drama that I don’t really wanna go near it.
Standout line: “I just wanna make art, read books and just find someone who likes me enough to kiss my face.” Honestly, same.
The Voice: Who can say? The bio makes it sound like she has plenty of experience already, but then again what else are bio’s for? Let’s wait and see.
The Style: The video is quite stylish, and Armenia’s performances in the past have mostly been well thought out as well. I do wonder how they’ll turn this into something people will want to actually vote for.
In one line: If you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else?
Why it will qualify: Contrary to popular belief, people actually prefer brunettes.
Why it won’t qualify: They actually really prefer blondes.
Qualifier? NO. Wait, it’s televote only…so…yes? But still…no.
3. Romania – Theodor Andrei – D.G.T. (Off and On)
The Song: Not gonna lie, it’s super hard trying to focus on the song while sitting through the video. It’s got a couple of cool elements to it and I like the rocky vibe, but it’s also very fickle in terms of structure. It doesn’t seem to be able to go into one specific direction. Some of the elements feel awfully familiar and I’d happily dig out my memory but that would mean I’d have to sit through it again and I really wanna do that only once more in this lifetime and that is on May 12th, after which I will file it under “delete from memory permanently”.
Standout line: “The scent of mistake just reminds you of me.” Self-deprecation or fortune telling powers?
The Voice: This is what makes this entry so unbearable, and why you shouldn’t trust a bio on Eurovision.tv. It seemed impossible, but Sophie Carle and Piero Esteriore are finally being given a run for their money in the battle for worst vocals ever at Eurovision. The mute button has never been so alluring.
The Style: Or lack thereof. The choreo is all over the place and raises more question marks than it will ever be able to answer. The ‘fashion’ is off as well: it’s an odd combo of goth core and fetish gear, which in theory doesn’t sound too awful but I guess everything Theodor Andrei touches turns to cold. Below zero.
In one line: Off, definitely not on.
Why it will qualify: LOL, have you heard it?
Why it won’t qualify: LOL, have you heard it?
Qualifier? LOL, have you heard it? How did this even win a NF?
CURRENT DIMIVISION STANDINGS
NORWAY – AZERBAIJAN – NETHERLANDS – FINLAND – DENMARK
MALTA – LATVIA – PORTUGAL – CROATIA – SWITZERLAND – ISRAEL – MOLDOVA – ARMENIA
Tomorrow: Estonia, Belgium & Cyprus
2 thoughts on “Eurovision 2023 Previews Part 6: Denmark, Armenia & Romania”
Yikes! You really don’t like Romania then 😀 I see (hear) nothing wrong with it vocally though, the low baritone is unusual for Eurovision where tenors make up 95% of the male entries (Tommy Korberg and Danny Finn from Prima Donna being notable baritones, but they’re still higher than Theodor) but everything’s technically sound.
Listening to it is literally torture for me. I love how different ears hear different things though. 😉