Two more to go in semi 2, high time for some semi final predictions while we’re at it!
16. Switzerland – Gjon’s Tears – Tout l’Univers
The Song: Anyone else feel like Gjon could burst out in the familiar “aahahahaha” Duncan Laurence gave us at the start of his chorus, when this one is starting? In fact, the entire thing feels VERY Arcade – not that surprising with the same team behind it. Until the percussion kicks in and takes over, that is. The floating ‘moi’ is nice reference to last year’s entry, where it was the main focus point. And tbh, even if this is a nice soundscape-like track, it doesn’t hold a candle to its 2020 predecessor cause it doesn’t really manage to pull you in. I mean, it’s still a great entry (especially by Swiss standards) – but is it really as magical as it pretends to be?
Standout line: “And I see what pain has made of me” What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!
The Voice: Somehow I expected a bit more frivolity, or at least a bit more of vocal artistry to take us on a journey. Maybe I’m thinking of his 2020 entry too much. But whose fault is that?
The Style: Loving the ‘midnight sky’ effects in the video, if they use this on stage it’ll definitely make up for the magic that is lacking a bit in the song. But then again I’m a sucker for stars and the mystery of the universe, so that might just be me.
In one line: Not entirely at warp speed.
PERSONAL TOTAL: 
Why it will qualify: People aren’t done with the Arcade vibe just yet.
Why it won’t qualify: Universe says no.
Give your own rating for Switzerland down at the bottom of the page
17. Denmark – Fyr Og Flamme – Øve Os På Hinanden
The Song: I have died and gone to 80’s heaven, omaga (ok help, so my brain decided that’s a thing now )! This sounds like a couple of Danish ESC entries from the ’80s and a couple of random Modern Talking songs got thrown into a blender and this delicious retro thing came out. It’s the sound of my childhood transported to 2021 and I simply can’t help but love this. And play this on repeat. The synths, the faux-strings, the pumping drum beat… Love. It! Also: even if I’m convinced this would be ace in English, I’m so happy they kept it in Danish. Just for that extra layer of Eurovision Retro Glamorama. Side note: I seem to be one of the few who think the studio version is better than that NF one. I mean, I loved the vintage feel with the ‘orchestra’ but that delicious 80’s production is even better without it. #controversialyetbrave
Standout line: “So let’s practice on each other” Lyrics not sponsored by Grindr.
The Voice: I mean, it’s not the best vocal performance we’ve ever had the pleasure of witnessing – but he’s having fun and we’re having fun with him, so engagement counts for something! The backing vocals are only adding to the 80s vibe.
The Style: Loving the Sandra Kim tribute that is the NF outfit – seriously, all it needs is a silly bow-tie and a sparkly hat. Please don’t change too much for Rotterdam. Except for this: gimme all the neon lights you’ve got, damned!
In one line: You’re my heart, you’re my soul.
PERSONAL TOTAL: (finally!)
Why it will qualify: We all need this joie-de-vivre right now.
Why it won’t qualify: People think it’s a joke.
Give your own rating for Denmark down at the bottom of the page
So, let’s do some predicting!
With SWI and DEN out of the way, we’re at the end of both semi finals – so it’s high time for some crystal ball gazing! Spirits near, spirits far, spirits wherever you are, …
Semi 1
Taking a quick look at the current standings at the bookmakers and the conclusion is that they’re about as clueless as yours truly. Let’s start by dividing the entries into three categories:
The YES pile definitely contains Malta, Lithuania, Azerbaijan, Russia and Norway – all of them voting magnets in their own (peculiar) way.
The NO pile has two definites with Slovenia and North Macedonia, and two probables with Australia and Croatia. Which leaves room for two more…
…that need to come out of the MAYBE pile containing Sweden, Cyprus, Romania, Ukraine, Belgium, Ireland and Israel. Romania, Ukraine and Belgium each feel distinct enough to make it through to Saturday. I somehow can’t see Ireland not making it – my gut is telling me to stick with this one. (famous last words…) Which leaves three more, and it could be any of those tbh. Sweden is unexcitingly generic, Cyprus is unexcitingly unoriginal and Israel is unexcitingly unmemorable. But for now let’s settle for these final ten (in bookies’ order):
- Malta
- Sweden
- Lithuania
- Romania
- Azerbaijan
- Russia
- Norway
- Ukraine
- Belgium*
- Ireland*
Even if I’m still tempted to chuck out Sweden in favor of Cyprus. I mean, second fave? Come on, guys. Not gonna happen.
*not a Q according to the bookies
Semi 2
Taking a quick look at the current standings at the bookmakers and there are a few surprises there – which is code for ‘what the hell are they thinking, let me get into this’. Let’s start by dividing them into three categories:
The YES pile definitely contains Switzerland, Bulgaria (following mind over heart here), Finland, Iceland, Greece and Denmark (wishful thinking, table for one you say? Nah, have you seen what comes before it in its semi?!)
The NO pile has more definites than S1, with Georgia, Portugal, Latvia, Estonia and probably Poland. Which leaves room for two more…
…that need to come out of the MAYBE pile containing San Marino, Moldova, Serbia, Czechia, Albania and Austria. The latter two are deemed Q by the bookies, but that somehow feels WRONG. Even if past contests have proved that as far as gospel entries go, my radar is somewhat off (hello, Austria 2018!). All of these entries rely heavily on the live rendition, but for now I’ll settle for these final ten:
- Switzerland
- Bulgaria
- Finland
- Iceland
- Greece
- San Marino
- Moldova
- Serbia
- Denmark*
- Czechia*
*not a Q according to the bookies
Go ahead, disagree with me. Make my day.
CURRENT DIMIVISION STANDINGS
DENMARK
LITHUANIA – RUSSIA – BELGIUM – MALTA – SAN MARINO – ICELAND – LATVIA
IRELAND – CROATIA – ISRAEL – ROMANIA – CZECHIA – GREECE – POLAND – MOLDOVA – SERBIA – FINLAND – SWITZERLAND
SLOVENIA – SWEDEN – AUSTRALIA – CYPRUS – NORWAY – AZERBAIJAN – UKRAINE – ESTONIA – AUSTRIA – ALBANIA – PORTUGAL
NORTH MACEDONIA – GEORGIA – BULGARIA
Dimivision 
I’m screaming. You’ve said almost exactly the same as I did about Denmark. Looking around at other comments, those who “get” it (and it’s mostly older Eurofans) absolutely adore it. Others can’t stand it. But if there’s enough of the people who love it, it could do very very well.
I was waiting for you to jump on this 😀 Nostalgia, table for two! Or like you said: hopefully a lot more to board the train down memory lane 😀
I also feel there’s more than a hint of Tommy Seebach in the composition. The beat could’ve been sampled from Kroller Eller Ej
Oh, I heart me some Seebach! Damn, probably gonna put Disco Tango on loop now for the rest of the day (even though I know it’s a 70s song, yes). *insert castagnet sound*
I have survived the Eurovision of the 80’s and I don’t really want to come back to them. It was not good time to be a Eurovision fan in the 80’s. The music taste was questionable. The style of hair and/or clothing was questionable.
There were exceptions, but this is not one of them. It is bad side of the 80’s in full glory.
Musically it is a poor track. A track that sounds cheap and badly written.The lead singer is slightly out of tune.
What you see as a nostalgia, I see is as a country taking the piss on the contest and giving it a middle finger.
I hope they will stay in their semi and finish last