ESC 2017 Semi 2 – The day after strikes again

Semi has only just been devoured and waits to be digested, or we have another meal to sit through! Yes, the days do seem to go a lot faster during Eurovision week. We haven’t even had the chance to properly mourn over disappointing gems like Blackbird and Paper! But on the Te Deum went…and so did only ten of the performers, through to Saturday night. What happened to the others? Let’s dissect.

As with semi 1, I’ll keep things about the show short. Loving how the ‘Celebrate diversity’ is translating in the entire set-up of the show, from opening acts to Verka. The hosts are entertaining enough, and two of them are very easy on the eye. I’m gonna have to learn their names one of these days…

My expectations before Kiev (apparently to be pronounced as you write it) weren’t exactly high up there, especially for semi 2. To my surprise I enjoyed it MUCH more than semi 1. All in all an entertaining evening, on multiple levels. As on Tuesday, I only had 6 of my personal top 10 through – but I managed to predict 9 of them (one more than Tuesday), so that’s a bit of comfort right there.

Why did those eight countries get left behind yesterday? A bit of guestimation.

(in order of appearance)

Serbia: Well, I expected a lot worse. Vocally Tijana was somewhat on point, in her performance however she needed a lot more seasoning to really sell it. Loved the lighting by the way. But that ‘sexy kitten in a nighty’ approach was kinda #meih, and then we haven’t even got to the dancer yet. It was all a bit sterile and ‘been there done that’ to really do anything for Europe, I suppose. This was the one I had wrong in my prediction however #sillyme

FYR Macedonia: Well darling, if the pavement is your catwalk then why don’t you STRUT A BIT MORE. That overworked choreography did nothing for the song. Nor did that hookerish outfit do anything for you. Wondering if Europe punished the vocoder effect on her voice. I still kinda love this, but she could’ve squeezed way more out of it. Ow, and condragulations on the bun and the hun, darling. Just be careful to scream “you’re all invited” at Eurovision. Some of us might actually show up.

Malta: Cheese & chest fest. What’s with zoom on Claudia’s chesticles in the backdrop (and on camera as well, for that matter). The song is as old fashioned as Burberry plad, and it reeks of Mariah aspirations. Well sung though, gotta give it to her. But sometimes less is simply more.

Ireland: Well, Brendan has a most peculiar sound, for one. It was alright in the soft first part, which I really liked. But along comes a whiff of Westlife and it just ruins the entire experience. Suddenly it sounds quite Junior Eurovision, and the fidgeting with the ropes as though he’d never seen or touched a rope in his life was a bit painful to see. Crash boom bang, as some Swedish broad would say. Ow, and was the balloon a reference to helium? Funny stuff. Too bad Europe didn’t pick up on that.

San Marino: This was sooooo all shades of wrong that I literally LOL’d, almost ROFL’d for almost half the song. Much to the amusement of my equally geeky best friend, who tried to tolerate me with all his might as I interrupted the broadcast. I sensed it. He repaid the favor later by drooling over Imri at the start of his song. But I digress. Valentina can get any party going, but boy does she sacrifice her singing skills to some awfully dated shizzle. The addition of Germaine Jackson Jimmie Wilson wasn’t really all that necessary, except for those quite awesome harmonies. But no, Ralph Siegel San Marino, just no. Thank you Europe, for not having to make me sit through that again.

Switzerland: Visually inspired by Beauty and the Beast (I really wanted some furniture there) but nothing could save that #meih of a song and those shrill high notes that were sprinkled all over those three minutes. Seriously Switzerland, regroup. Belgium & NL did it, you can too.

Lithuania: I had this in fourth place, so I wouldn’t have minded seeing or hearing this again. But as my other best friend often teasingly throws in my face: I do like my women angry and full of fire. It was rather obvious that this would be too in your face (ears especially) to really convince juries and voters around. But I LOVED it.

Estonia: Cut back to best friend number one, who was rooting for this one. But to me it was rather quickly rather evident that this wouldn’t qualify. They were vocally quite wobbly, except when they joined forces, and they both seemed a bit empty inside. Mix those two elements with a rather generic and slightly old fashioned tune, and NQ was inevitable. Bless my friend’s broken heart though.

Really didn’t think Denmark would make it, and I absolutely hate the thought of having to sit through Croatia and Romania again. But hey, no highs without lows I guess.

Speaking of, the running order has been revealed. Italy and Portugal so close to one another could really benefit Portugal, especially with that busy and oversold looking snippet I saw in the semi – haven’t seen anything else, I hardly follow the rehearsals, with the exception of reading other blogs to get at least some idea of the atmosphere – which didn’t look all that promising. Could be wishful thinking whispering in my ear though. The start of the show doesn’t look all that exciting, with the first really good song only popping up at 5, and the line-up after the commercial break doesn’t really look al that promising either. The end of the show though: what a minefield. I’ll be VERY curious to see who survives it and what the end result will be.

  1. Israel
  2. Poland
  3. Belarus
  4. Austria
  5. Armenia
  6. The Netherlands
  7. Moldova
  8. Hungary
  9. Italy
  10. Denmark
  11. Portugal
  12. Azerbaijan
  13. Croatia
  14. Australia
  15. Greece
  16. Spain
  17. Norway
  18. United Kingdom
  19. Cyprus
  20. Romania
  21. Germany
  22. Ukraine
  23. Belgium
  24. Sweden
  25. Bulgaria
  26. France

Read y’all somewhere in the near future for the 2017 review! Have A BLAST tomorrow and see you on the other side!


Published by Dimivision

Overly opinionated. Slightly off my rocker. There's no such thing as a guilty pleasure.

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