Eurovision 2014 (P)review – Part 5 – Georgia, Germany & Greece

All of this year’s songs have been selected, which means it’s time to start the countdown (cue Final Countdown) for the 2014 edition of our beloved Contest. I’ve only heard a couple of songs before writing this (p)review as I wanted to simulate the sensation of the regular viewer. Curious to see how thàt will turn out? Me too…

GEORGIA

The Song: *shakes head in disbelief* What. The. Hell. Is. This. Besides a gigantic mess, obviously. It’s like one of those cult songs, but in a bad campfire version. Are they on a high? If they only need three minutes to get back to earth it can’t be good shit they’re smoking. And by the sound of it it really IS bad shit. I will never play this again willingly.

The Voice: After the Albanian Shakira we get the Georgian version. The guy is pretending he’s performing an ERA song. Neither of them are very good. At all.

The Performance: If the video is anything to go by we’ll get a performance that will have people talking for a very, very long time.

Checkpoint DIMI:
Daring? Yes, but not in a good way
Intriguing?  Yes, but not in a good way
Modern? To Scientology and the likes, maybe
International? Only for a very selective audience, I’d say

In one line: THIS is why mankind invented the mute button.
PERSONAL TOTAL: 0% (oh yes, I went there)
PREDICTION: If this qualifies something is VERY wrong with the universe.

GERMANY

The Song: I am still disappointed MarieMarie didn’t make it (puts Candyjar on repeat) but I was pleasantly surprised to see Germany go for something as fresh as this. The accordion isn’t my favorite of all instruments and the bits where it takes the lead in the instrumentation here do tend to get on my nerves but once the brass players and the drums join it there’s a new dimension opening up. It’s folk Jim but not as we know it.

The Voice: Girlfriend can definitely sing but tends to oversell it in some lines, where it tends to get a tad shouty. She’s got the power though. Now share it with your backing please, girl, cause they sure can use some help.

The Performance: This doesn’t need a lot of bells and whistles so they were quite right to keep it simple. Just pick out a fitting wall paper for the LED screens and go full throttle on the voices.

Checkpoint DIMI:
Daring? I’d say so
Intriguing?  At times…
Modern? Somehow it really is!
International? Thàt’s the big question, isn’t it?

In one line: Is it right, or is it wrong? I’m wondering the same thing.
PERSONAL TOTAL: 75%
PREDICTION: I don’t have a freaking clue. It could bomb. It could run away with victory. It could go bottom five. It could go top ten. I wouldn’t know at all.

GREECE

The Song: About as one dimensional as a summer anthem can get, I suspect. It does very little wrong on that account. It’s just that I have MY account at a different bank, I think. Harmless fun…for three minutes. I do not get the addition of the ‘rapper’ though. At all.

The Voice: (Ignores the ‘rapper’) It’s okay-ish. Does what he’s expected to do, no more no less. That might not be his fault though. He doesn’t annoy me. That’s something.

The Performance: I expect them to ask us to *clap our hands* and such. Surprised there aren’t any half naked chicks dancing around. I suspect they’ll arrive sooner or later.

Checkpoint DIMI:
Daring? Sure *laughs out loud*
Intriguing?  Quite the opposite
Modern? The beat is, the concept has been tagging along for about 20 summers now
International? I suppose so, on beaches around Europe…

In one line: I *think* I’m gonna stay seated for this one, thanks anyway
PERSONAL TOTAL: 18%
PREDICTION: Well, there’s always the odd empty brained entry that makes the final. And it’s Greece, they’ve got reservations for Saturday anyway. I do hope they’ll fare as well as Ireland did last year on Saturday. Fat chance, I presume?

CURRENT RESULTS

1. Armenia  83
2. Austria  77
3. France  75
4. Germany  75
5. Finland 73
6. Albania  72
7. Estonia  72
8. FYR Macedonia  68
9. Belgium  65
10. Azerbaijan  61
11. Denmark 50
12. Belarus  42
13. Greece  18
14. Georgia  0