Eurovision 2013 (P)Review – Part 3 – Denmark & Russia

We’re moving fast and don’t look back, here’s part 3 of the run through of this year’s contestants! Will they be beautiful butterflies, or rather moths that have to hide away in the dark?

First of all, a bit of framework for the judging – I’ll be looking at the song, the vocal performance and the stage presentation (or concept of the video if we haven’t seen a stage performance) and I’ll round up by putting them to the DIMI test (do I think it’s Dramatic, Intriguing and/or Modern enough to Include in my iTunes library?). I’ll score the entries from 1 to 5 on each of those points, resulting in a score out of a possible maximum of 20.

 5. Denmark – Emmelie de Forest – Only teardrops

The Song: I can vaguely picture Shirley Clamp going crazy when she hears this, as this sounds like something she would have ended mid-table with in an MF final 4 years ago. It just doesn’t feel that dated because of the clever folksy elements they included in the Danish entry, although the  drums feel VERY Olsen Brothers. Could that be a sign? That said, I do wonder how many times (got it?) you can repeat two sentences in a 3 minute long entry?
The Voice: Miss de Forest might look like she’s a bit bewildered but vocally she’s very much in control and her voice might actually be the one element that lifts this not all that exceptional entry to another level. It’s not thàt impressive, but it brings everything together nicely.
The Performance: I suppose little will be changed from what we saw in the Danish final, which means she’ll look as if she’s just woken up, with that convertible hair and shredded nightgown. Sure, you might label that as a Kate Bush look but I wouldn’t want to insult Kate Bush. That said I do feel Emmelie makes the entire thing less bland.
The DIMI test: I don’t seem to be warming up to this I have to say. I can see and hear why people would like it but it’s simply very Denmark@Eurovision to me. In other words: middle of the road.

PREDICTION: Difficult one. I can see this qualifying, yes. What it’ll do in the final is another matter. I might be incredibly wrong here but I just don’t see it happening. It’ll come close, yes, but victory? Then again, I was blindsided by the last Danish victory so I might be eating these words come May 18th.

 6. Russia – Dina Garipova – What if? 

The Song: What if countries stopped sending entries that belonged in the ’90s? What if ballads did not necessarily all sounded alike? What if lyrics did not sound like an average speech about world peace by some random miss Universe contestant? What if that speech would be a bit more believable if it hadn’t come from one of the most repressing countries in Europe? What if Russia returned to the fun goofy stuff instead of the bad sugary junk that makes me go diabetic in an instant? What if we stopped wondering what if?
The Voice: Well, she won The Voice so I guess she can sing. Need some proof though. Lighting a candle for a lack of accent or this’ll be even harder to sit through.
The Performance: If that video is anything to go by I’ll be puking my guts out. If it weren’t borderline comical I’d cry.
The DIMI test: Hell to the no.

PREDICTION: Well, it’s Russia. So I guess it’s a yes. I just hope that people will see this pile of clichés for what it is in the Final and leave it on the side of the road, where it belongs.

Tomorrow: Ukraine & Netherlands


Published by Dimivision

Overly opinionated. Slightly off my rocker. There's no such thing as a guilty pleasure.

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